1.3.1 FucShway

An interesting thing has been happening since deciding to start 'bloggin' again. Especially with terms: Try to every day. Before 're-startin' I had a bunch of ideas for blogs and would end up writing them in my head. Now that I'm ready and willing to write - where'd they go?

Note to self - keep notes for yourself. All it would have taken to have plenty of things to write about would be to have written a list of possible topics. Then I could pick and choose. But like so many other good ideas - they like to hide when you  need them.

I was also thinking about the importance of said posts. Do they have to have some kind of significance to post them? Can't they just be a type of 'shower thought' or maybe there isn't anything wrong with being benign and relatively meaningless or dare to be boring? It's almost like posting something boring takes more bravery than posting something bold or declarative. Food for thought.

There is definitely one post I have been writing in my head for my entire life. Where did I put that? I mean that literally - I am always looking for something and I never put things back where they are suppose to go. The problem has always been, though, that I never had a place for things to go. Every drawer is a junk drawer - at least organized as such, or actually has no organization at all.

This is something i've been working on for a  while now and has been so difficult. I've moved everything out of my room, "organized it" and put it back in many times, over and over, but something seems to happen (or not happen) in the process and nothing ever seems to stay in it's place. I'm a such a hoarder that I've collected a lot of things that aren't easy to classify or to know which should go together. I don't know maybe I haven't given enough thought to it. It shouldn't be THAT difficult but remains one of my greatest foes. Which obviously means that I am my own opponent. There is something about tackling 'cleaning my room' that I can just not bring myself to do. Maybe it's because i've done it so many times in vain that I don't want to try again without having a game plan.

That's been a common theme in my life and reflected in my book as well. The chapters were the hardest to put in order - I spent year on that alone. I tried going about it with 'writing first' and that, like my room's organization just results in a lot of work, a lot of junk, a lot of jewels in haystacks - etc etc etc.

I really could get into this in a lot more detail but it was a big theme of my day so it's something to blog about. I've been taking photo-sphereic before, before, during and what i thought were "after" pictures but that would take too long to post, especially since those photos aren't organized and I would have to find them on my computer.

But brevicly I have two main rooms that are 'mine' or at least that I use. One is my room and the other is the 'guest room' which I take over every once in a while. Recently I was sleeping in one and then working in another. I thought that would be more productive to separate work from .. well whatever I do in the 'bedroom' but after a few months I realized it was just separating my mind, splitting it, cutting it off from itself. I had aspirations to embrace that idea and have each room represent the two sides of the brain but that was just too much to deal with at this point.

So I decided I was going to consolidate and move everything into one room - my old room, my first room and then the guest room could get a re-model and revert back to not being mine. Bye!

 It's been painted, is getting new furniture, baseboards etc.

Almost done.

I moved back into my room a few weeks ago. Got a new futon which was harder than the floor and have been 'settling' in. My goal with my room is for it to be a work space that will be easily adaptable to various 'work flows' so that I can be filming something, rendering it in 3d, and then filming myself or my birds, etc. Being able to place the cameras, mics, having backdrops, etc all factor in as well as being able to be used for entertainment, watching movies, sleeping, etc etc. It's those ETC's that make it complicated - combined with all the equipment I have makes it's even more convoluted.

This is a semi before picture (during?) since then I chopped pu the desk and drawers and turned the closet into a desk and put up a make shift lower ceiling. The white is also for a function and not aesthetics. 

I have a 'vision' for it and know what I want it to be/do but I don't necessarily have all the details and technicalities worked out. I've turned the closet into a custom desk which works great and free's up the rest of the room. There is a temporary ceiling to hang cameras and backdrops. The walls are white so I can use them as projection surfaces and to literally write on them and use as giant 'white boards' - blah blah. I am getting there and maybe to the point of this post.

"Surgery looks like murder half way through" 

I keep wishing I had more space but then I realize - wait do i really need more space or am i really just wanting more places to stash stuff in? See, I know that everything I already have could be consolidated and organized and free up all the space i NEED - and that's the thing. How much space do I really need? In the same way that having two rooms was dividing my attention the larger the space - the mentality changes from consolidation to 'fill it up' you don't necessarily need "room to grow' you need a reason to grow and until then the focus can be on working with the room you have and refining it - COMPACTING it. It's similar to how computer and cell phones shrink - and have to get more sophisticated as they do. Fitting more things in a smaller room - together and to be able to do more things requires the same type of sophistication/ technicalities to accomplish. 

All of this would be easy to do if I had 10 rooms or 1 huge space to separate each space into different compartments. Then just move from one to the other - each being specialized to an individual task. That's cake. What isn't is being able to put them all in one. Again - finding a similar theme in technologies and cell phones being able to do more things in smaller spaces. You don't need an individual video camera, an individual photo camera, an mp3 player, etc. They can all be fit on the same device - and all smaller than any of their previous individual components. It's quite the marvel of technology if you think about it - and it definitely shows it's self to be so when you have to do the same thing yourself. 

'Small rooms or dwellings set the mind in the right path; large ones cause it to go astray. 
An artist's studio should be a small space because small rooms discipline the mind and large ones distract it. ' - Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo must have figured out the same thing. In another quote by him that i'll leave at the end of this post we'll present another idea also in the same vein. Your surroundings, your environment - especially your work room are a direct reflection of your mind. If it's messy and disorganized then so is your mind -and how could it not be with a bunch of shit strung about? I actively dream about the day when I'll be able to know where everything is, everything will have a place, i'll have a place!, and I can spend my time focusing on the work and my future and not organizing my past. I also am very cognoscente that I have to do it right and go through the hard and annoying process of de-fragmenting my room, my hard drives and my actual mind, in the correct order - or else I could just be making it even worse. I am an expert on that. 

It's also really important to remember to focus on functionality before you start to worry about how it looks. Eventually, if you do it right, the form will follow the function and it will look and feel good.

I've had my room look 'cool' and clean but that was always because I threw everything in the closet or another room. To truly have all of my possessions in a single room - and then getting it looking and working good - has never happened in my entire life. 

'If anyone wishes to see how the soul dwells in its body, let him observe how this body uses its daily habitation; that is to say, if this is devoid of order and confused, the body will be kept in disorder and confusion by its soul..' - Leonardo da Vinci

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