Baby Budgie Day: 02 Danny & Responsibility

So his name is going to be Danny. The other contenders were Mensa, Nash, Cuda, Duke, Mason, and Cooper. Cooper was the second choice but he looks more like a Danny. He also acts like a Danny.

I've never actually been around a baby budgie before but they kinda dumb. I mean that in the most adorable way possible - and in the same way that all babies are "dumb." He doesn't really know what is going on. The fact that he was just taken from his family and siblings and store full of other birds - he's completely unaware. He must be so young that his memory isn't even really working yet just how a puppy or kitten just automatically adapts and doesn't even think twice about where it was only a day ago let alone a couple hours. "oh look food, i'm hungry, i'm bored pay attention to me, you - anyone, i'm tired, zzz" that's all they do or care about.

It's cute but it also makes me a little anxious because he will just start crawling around and jumping without looking first like - a baby. The other birds I had wouldn't just fall off and behind a desk -they were aware enough of their surroundings. Danny- walked right off the edge and between the desk and tv stand and started crying. I'm like "omg he is going to die" - but he wiggled his way behind the tv stand where I could grab him and he was fine. It's weird when a bird moves around by walking  instead of flying - they are much better at flying. They look like little munchkins when the walk.

I let him listen to music for the first time today - he seemed to like it and chirped a little then ignored it and ate. He sleeps a lot.

I left him in my room to go clean the house and when I came back in he was hiding under his food dish. I thought he was dead or stuck but i'm guessing the vacuum scared him or he went to hide since I wasn't in the room?

I really like that he isn't afraid of my hands. I had him in his cage - on my bed last night so we could watch "the Life of birds" on netflix. He moved to the side of the cage I was on and I could rub my finger on the bars and he just stayed there and seemed to like it. If I would have done that to the other birds I had they would move to the other end of the cage. I even got him to wave his hand and open his mouth like "ahhhh" already. Yesterday when I was chewing on something that made loud crunching noises he was mocking me by making the same noise by grinding his beak a little.

I was thinking about something when it comes to relationships of any kind. It reminds me of writing a book, or drawing, or befriending a budgie, or raising a puppy - or dating- that we  should get better at it each time we start a new one. Its by our failures - those that we can't realize until after they have ended and they cannot be amended that we learn the most from. It seems to me that our feelings of shame and regret are emotions that help to warn and motivate us for the next time we are put in similar situations. You have to let them go eventually but they will linger to remind you why you do or do not do certain things again.

 I know when I get a puppy again that I will walk it more and give it more attention because it enjoys it and not just when I feel like it. I know when i'm trying to decide: "Uhh I dont' feel like going for a walk" and start to make up an excuse not to go - i'll remember the deep sadness I felt after I put my dog to sleep and felt bad for all the times I didn't take her when I should have. They turn into "could have's" That idea spills into other types of relationships and how we express anger and resentment. Things that seem so petty now but seemed so big at the time.

You learn that "responsibility" isn't about promises you make to your parents or someone else or even to yourself - it's the actions you are willing to take to take care of yourself, a relationship - and whatever or whoever you are responsible for. Even when, especially when, it requires a compromise on your part. Responsibility is also not about "hanging in there" or "not giving up" it is about doing what is best for all involved - which more often than not means letting go and moving on. Sometimes the responsible thing to do is to let go. Sometimes maturity and responsibility are being able to make the hard decisions which are often not what you want to do but what is best for you even if it hurts yourself and those involved. Responsibility is ultimately subjective and a personal power that you posses.

I guess I'm realizing that responsibility and being an adult isn't what I thought it was. It's not about having authority or knowing what to do or being more able to distinguish between what is right or wrong but the ability to take action and having the conviction that your intentions are true. It's definitely - most of all - learning from your mistakes and having your actions - NOT your words - demonstrate what you have learned. Responsibility is about having the confidence that you will be able to do the right thing when the time comes.
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