Words vs Actions



We have very old neighbors who are well past their 80's and into their 90’s and are fairly quickly becoming less and less able to take care of themselves. I have 'had' to take out their trash cans for them every week, and I have even gone over to lift them off the ground when they have fallen and couldn't get up – yes that is not just a sales pitch it actually apparently happens. I am their life real life - life alert. This scares the hell out of me because I do not have any experience lifting anyone, let alone old and fragile people. To say that it's out of my comfort zone is an understatement - but yet I do it. Do I want to?  Absolutely not. But if they fall down am I going to pick them up - of course. I can't - not help someone who needs it that I can actually lift who is helpless. That is who I am and was raised to be.

Today my Mom came up to me and said that one of them asked If I could park my car in a different spot - that I have been parking in for almost 20 years so that is basically “my spot.”  They want that spot to be available and open so when their family visits – which they do more now since they are needing more and more help – won’t have to park across the street. Which is kinda like saying that the spot is really theirs and I have been just using it this whole time and now they want it back and that their family shouldn't have to walk across the street – I should. 

I, of course, thought about all of this and rolled my eyes and jokingly said “Well I hope they can put out their own trash cans now!” and very (darkly) Saying “Alright, it’s not like it’s going to be for that long..” which sound terrible, and mean, and you could call it that, you could also think it’s clever. It could be taken that I meant that they wouldn't need that spot for very much longer cause they are going to die soon, or move into a home, or it could also mean that I AM going to be moving out soon, and getting a new car that I’ll park in the garage. 

Which is true? Well, they are all eventually going to happen I just used my words to be a smart ass. That’s what I do, it’s who I am. But, they are just to be funny and the difference between actions and words is what the actual actions will be. I will move my car (I already did) and I will leave that spot open from now on for them because I am an accommodating person. I will also not be afraid to complain and joke about it because that’s part of human nature. If I thought it - and didn't say it - it would be because I meant it and the hesitation would be because it was what I really felt. Sometimes you can tell what someone means by what they don't say rather than what they do say. 

Do I want to park someone else – hell no that’s my spot and It’s the closest to the house! It’s front row, why would I want to park some where else? I wouldn't! And to admit that is just being honest. There could be someone else who says: “Oh yes, of course I would love to change where I park, it would be my pleasure and it doesn't bother me at all!” and then inside they would be thinking something completely different. Now that is called faking, or lying. This person could also say all the things that a person could want to hear – and then NOT move their car. You will know if someone is a good, or bad, honest, or a liar not by their words – be them good OR BAD – but by their actions. If someone says they will do something - you will who they are by them doing it. If someone says they will stop doing something - you will know them because they stop doing it  - NOT because of what they SAY they will. "The proof is in the pudding" Which is like saying if someone says there is something in the pudding, you have to look in the pudding not listen to what comes out of their mouths. 

It doesn't matter if they talk like an asshole, it matters if their actions are the acts of an asshole. It doesn't matter if someone talks like a friendly benevolent being – it matters what their actions prove them to be.
Someone could tell you “I would do anything for you, I love you so much, you are great!” and then when their actions are lacking you will know them. Or if they say “I hate you leave me alone” when all of their actions were kind and considerate. Or if they say "I am a bad person" and then they don't act like a bad person. Or if they say "I am a good person" and then all of their actions prove other-wise.

Someone could tell you “This tree grows the best tasting fruit ever!” and you will not know until you taste it for yourself. You know the tree by it's fruits, not by the  advertisements, or the packaging, or the words.


When someone tells you who they are, wait for them to reveal themselves through their actions. When someone shows you who they are – believe them.
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