Maybe I Won't Look Back

“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Lesson -8
W/ A little help from Chuck:

You Can't Keep Moving Forward if you keep looking back.

I've noticed throughout my life, and most other people's lives that we always have this thing we are trying to get over. The last thing that hurt us that we are still recovering from. This is a theme i've realized through reading my journals and from what i've heard from other people.

Its almost as if a lot of us have this person inside of us that fakes being sick, or sad, to get attention and comforted but also as an excuse for not doing something. "I'm not doing well, i'm sad, i'm upset." When really - those are just tactics to get out of doing something we don't want to. Like a kid faking being sick so they don't have to go to school.

But what are these "emotions" or "Feelings' in our head anyways? They just seem to be excuses to be too damaged to function at our best. To give us reasons to sit back and lick our wounds.

  • “People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.”Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Granted there are real reasons for being hurt and damaged! But we always have to remember that the majority of those "Feelings" are not PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) The hardest and worst thing you can do is to string a problem along. Face your fear, deal with it, cry, scream, sulk, drink - but don't bring it along with you. It makes for a very bumpy ride.

"Holding grudges is like letting someone live rent free in your head."

If we feel victimized then it means that we have to have a villain - someone to blame for making us feel bad. When in reality we know it's our responsibility to "man'up" and get over it. No one is going to be able to do that but yourself.

  • “If we can forgive what’s been done to us . . .If we can forgive what we’ve done to others . . . If we can leave all of our stories behind. Our being villains or victims. Only then can we maybe rescue the world.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

Whenever I am going through something difficult and it seems like it's going to be hard to let go of - I remember all the other times I thought the same thing. I also remember all the things i've went through that were 10x's worse and tell myself "If I could get that, then this is will be nothing!"

The problem with that, and the lesson learned from it is that it serves absolutely no purpose to dwell on the past, or to let it haunt you. You just have to let it go! Leave it behind, and stop looking back at it. That is easier said then done. The next lesson i've learned is not how to stop looking back, but how to move on and set a path forward to a brighter future.

  • “The truth is you can be orphaned again and again and again. The truth is, you will be. And the secret is, this will hurt less and less each time until you can't feel a thing. Trust me on this.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Haunted

  • “I'm not sure what we're running from. Nobody. Or the future. Fate. Growing up. Getting old. Picking up the pieces. As if running we won't have to get on with our lives.”― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

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