Showing posts from February, 2012


"You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself." DvQ'

Thee others,

In the previous version of the book I am refining I wrote an interjection about the difficulty of changing. That could very well be the biggest theme to all of the interjections but "The Others" is about an aspect of changing that is very specific and potentially the most difficult aspect to anyone changing in general.

It is hard enough to become someone new and better but it is even more tedious to do so when that change involves other people "the others". That is compounded when those other people mean a lot to you both personally and emotionally.

The majority of this past interjection (posted below) will probably stick around in the update but will also be expanded on. It was mostly about the emotional strife that comes with moving on with your life when others are not ready to follow. The next stage of that theme didn't evolve until my "Illusions of success" started to reveal themselves to be not just possible- but probable.

When I first start…


Feb 1997 -Feb 2012
I have a better grasp of why people believe in "Ghosts" Spencer haunts me. Whenever I shut my bedroom door, I think she is going to scratch at it. Whenever I come home, I'm expecting her to be there waiting for me and acting like I've been gone for years.

The thing that amazes me most of all is that this, person, dog, who has been by my side for almost 15 years is gone. I don't know where she went, I don't know what it means. But what I do know is if there is some kinda after life, I have a crazy-ass-protective-bitch- that will make sure, if she can, that i'm ok.

"Woke up this morning, needed to talk, picked up your bone, stared to call, thats when it hit me that you were gone. So many questions, things left unsaid. So much confustion going around in my head.

So many reasons that just don't make sense. I tried to carry on but something's missing inside. I just want to know you are above me, gimme some kinda sign.

Do you sti…

The Budgie queens

The budgies are Grounded (haha) because yesterday Nala chewed out of the tape that was in place of the plastic part that I broke. I was sitting outside with my Mom and she was like:

"oh look at that pretty bir.... oh shi that is one of your birds!" "hurry get her!"
I sat calmly and said:

"Mother, this is the newest bird'ith and I have only held her once. If I try and pick her up, she shall fly away."

So I sat and stared at her, winking (of course) to try and seduce her into trusting me. Thankfully her wings were still trimmed enough that she could only get a couple feet off the ground. And not high enough to get over the fence in the back yard. I have lost many a bird in that way.

She "Flew" away a little bit. I realized that, unlike Parker who is trained to "Step up" on thine finger, she was not.

Since she also hasn't been corrupted or terrified (like the other birds) to be afraid of me (yet) I wanted to get her back in t…

Slow and Steady wins da Race

"Productivity and motivation do not have to be extremes - push and release. It can be more balanced and working casually and calmly can be as efficient as huge leaps then huge rests. It doesn't have to be vast vacations after pushing yourself to your limits. A number of small breaks (Cat naps) can be just as enjoyable and the work done between just as good as the other method. Obviously that hasn't been working out for me too well and has driven me crazy and then lazy. I need to calm and focus my mind and take things slowly and methodically and not frantically and obsessively. Let it happen, don't try to make it happen."

(A couple months ago a wise wise friend of mine told me something that has stuck with me ever since. He said "Don't try to make things happen, let them happen." Whenever you say try - stop, and replace it with "let". After he told me that, I realized how often I said "try" or "Trying" I didn't "…
Accept people for who they are. Accept yourself for who you are.

The Hard Way

The greatest lesson(s) I have learned in the last 29 years of my life;

First and foremost is to both accept and appreciate the impermanence of feelings, emotions, people, and things. Things change, people change, your feelings change, the way you think, and most of all YOU change.

The biggest frustration and confusion in my life is trying to understand what is really real. How can I go from hating to loving someone else in what seems like minute to minute - myself included. How can something that at the time seems like the worst thing that has ever happened to me be, in reflection, just a glimmer and almost funny? Conversely how can what seemed to be the best thing that has happened to me - in further reflection - seem to be a bad thing?

So when you are in what seems like a great experience - relish it, take it in, and enjoy it. It might not happen again.

So when you are in what seems like a terrible experience - remember all the times you felt the same and remember that it goes awa…

Vitru'me Man

"For the human body is so designed by nature that the face, from the chin to the top of the forehead and the lowest roots of the hair, is a tenth part of the whole height; the open hand from the wrist to the tip of the middle finger is just the same; the head from the chin to the crown is an eighth, and with the neck and shoulder from the top of the breast to the lowest roots of the hair is a sixth; from the middle of the breast to the summit of the crown is a fourth. If we take the height of the face itself, the distance from the bottom of the chin to the under side of the nostrils is one third of it; the nose from the under side of the nostrils to a line between the eyebrows is the same; from there to the lowest roots of the hair is also a third, comprising the forehead. The length of the foot is one sixth of the height of the body; of the forearm, one fourth; and the breadth of the breast is also one fourth. The other members, too, have their own symmetrical proportions, and i…

T'ee of Life vs. Sleeve of Knowledge

I've always wanted to get a tattoo. Before I turned 18 I didn't really consider what tattoo I wanted, I just wanted one. I begged and pleaded with my Mom to no avail. By the time I turned 18 and could get one - I didn't. I've still wanted one but I was old enough to realize that I wanted one but that I wanted something meaningful and "cool". Ever since i've kept it in the back of my mind - trying to think of what design I would be confident enough to have permanently injected into my skin.

Throughout the years nothing ever seemed to manifest itself. No idea stuck. I decided that I didn't want to get random tattoo after tattoo that didn't relate to each other. I wanted a full body and fully realized concept.

Obviously the design i'm going to post here would take thousands of dollars and dozens of hours to complete - not to mention that I would have to polish up the design and details to permanent quality. But that's the first point of th…

Stare y i'ed surprise

"You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Morpheus

Prado Mona Who You Be?

The Mona Lisa - or at least her "Twin" is making headline news all over the world yet again. This time for a version of her that was supposedly painted alongside Leonardo and not a copy painted later.

There have been countless copies of the Mona Lisa painted over the last 500+ years. What makes this new "discovery" significant is that it was analyzed (X-rayed) and found to have the same "under-drawing" as the original Mona Lisa (which has also been x-rayed.) This would mean that it was being painted at or around the same time. That is what the articles are saying and the assumption being made.

How else could another painting have the same base layer unless it was being painted around the same time that the original's base layer was still visible? Meaning that the other copies of the Mona Lisa show her how she was after the original design (The base) had been changed and painted over. So for the Prado Mona to be a copy of the Mona Lisa's design as …

The V-Day Massacure


A couple months ago I took pictures of what looked like a big bee caring a normal bee. I have never seen or heard of whatever this thing was before. It was like 3 times the size of a bee but had the same type of color and fur. It had its mouth part dug into the bee's head. My guess is that it's some type of wasp that evolved to look like a bee. It brings new meaning to "Killer Bee." 

Leonardo Live

I'm so going to see this!!!

"A blockbuster show of his works — the greatest art exhibit of our times, one critic called it — has closed in London after breaking attendance records. But Americans can still see Leonardo da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan at their cineplex.

Leonardo Live, a 100-minute theatrical film of the exhibit at the National Gallery in London, will be shown Thursday in hundreds of theaters around the world, including 450 in the USA, delivered by satellite in high definition for the price of a movie ticket. (Visit for tickets and showtimes.)" link


"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo In so much space
And when you're out there Without care, Yeah, I was out of touch But it wasn't because I didn't know enough I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Possibly [radio version] probably [album version]
And I hope that you are having the time of your life But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are, Ha ha ha bless your soul You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy I think you're crazy I think you're crazy Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun And it's no coincidence I've come And I can die wh…

"Earliest" paintings discovered?

These cave paintings of seals (with stripes??) were recently discovered in Nerja, in Málaga, Spain. Going off the carbon dating of the charcoal near them they could be over 40,000 years ago. That pushes back the previously believed time frame of what could be considered humanities first paintings. Or, well, I guess using "Humanities" might not be correct since they are saying it would have had to been Neanderthals that painted them. They are saying it changes the idea that it was only humans that were capable of this.

"Our latest discoveries show that neanderthals decorated their bodies with paint and had an aesthetic sense, and that's a scientific revolutions because, until now, [we] homo sapiens have attributed our selves every achievement, showing [the neanderthals] almost like monkeys."

What is confusing about this is if Neanderthals's paintings would be considered "Humanities" or something different? I thought that Neanderthals were suppo…