Just don't do it!


For the last couple weeks I've really been focusing on trying to improve my life. To make better decisions. Kinda like new years resolutions, or maybe an experiment in actually implementing the things I know I should. So for one of the first times I'm giving it a real effort. Quit smoking, drinking, eating right, 12 glasses of water a day, working out, no energy drinks: The physical things that effect my mind in a bad way.

Going through multiple forms of withdrawals, from the different chemicals i used to abuse daily, was difficult. In the same way that when you take them - they affect you in some type of positive way. I got to a point where I would have to keep using them to feel "good." Then they become a habit, as well as a physical addiction. Making it even more difficult to quit. A quick fix to a perpetual problem. I guess what i'm really after is living my life for the high that comes with the feeling of accomplishment, rather than a self serving indulgence. I just want to be proud of myself dammit! I don't wanna give in to the idiot on my shoulder telling me to just do it!

So to those who are trying to stop doing something that you know you "shouldn't be doing" Remember:

It's going to hurt, and it's going to be uncomfortable. But instead of running from it and trying to avoid it, embrace it. Remember that it's only temporary and when you're through the worst of it there is a relief and even better feeling coming. Instead of going and buying a pack of cigs or a beer, I tell myself "Derek, you don't have to quit forever. Just give yourself a chance for change. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. You can do this!!" The longer amount of time I go, the stronger I get. I think it's called "Will power!"

You'll be free from your body trying to coerce your mind into indulging. And although I don't have the conviction or passion to say I'll stay on this coarse for more than a couple days, or a week. I can say without a shadow of doubt that it is much better.

Why I would go back to something I know makes my life more difficult is a totally different conundrum.

"the only way out is through"

The next phase, which works nicely with constraint, is it's opposite. Control; to force myself to do the things I do want to do, that will enhance my life! Like working out, drinking water, reading, giving my animals more attention, and of course working on my book(s) I could honestly say that during about the last month or so, i've worked harder than the previous year. But that being said, it's still maybe only 5% of what I should and could be doing. One thing i've found that really helps me is "all forward movement counts" so instead of thinking i'm letting myself down by only using 10% of my potential, but thinking it's 100% more than I was previously.

When your trying to write a book, it's not something static. It's like running a marathon. Every step towards finishing is still a step. I might slow down, but I can never go back.

And although i'm just passing the pre-production part of my book, and i'm approaching the actual writing phase.. My book is going to be bomb!
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