Mind Reader, literally...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7094526.stm

Although this is one of the most fascinating things i've ever heard of, and expected to happen eventually. I'm kinda angry at the same time.

I'm someone who thinks a lot. I'm someone who writes a lot. But i've never been someone who talks a lot until recently. I've learned that you have to write something down if you want to remember it right. Almost every time i've thought "Oh i'll remember this for sure" 5 min later I dont even remember that I was supposed to remember something. If something stays in your mind, it might not find it's way out unless you either write it down, record what you said, or tell someone else who will remember what you said.

My journals are literally thousands of pages long, since 2001. They are all bound together, by year and have tables of contents, and casts of characters.. yeah. crazy

One of the things i've always noticed about writing is that you assume it's the truth. I mean, why would I lie in my own journals? If it's something I dont want anyone to know, I just wouldn't write it down. I have to figure that anything i write down is potentially read by anyone. I think that's kept me from doing a lot of things, since I write almost everything down.

But then there are other things that I just DONT want to remember.

I guess my point, as if i have one, is that we think our thoughts are completely our own. No one else should be able to hear them, or see them, or think them. But whats funny is that the vast majority of the world think that someone is always listening - "God" he knows everything, even your thoughts - even before you think them. Some people think that thoughts are only thoughts and don't matter. Other people think that thoughts are just as bad as actions. The thought of killing someone is just as bad as killing them. Then there are other people who think that it's only a thought and doesn't count, then others who think everything is ok as long as you ask for "forgiveness" after you both think something, and act on it.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Is there a "God" and is he/she listening to our thoughts? Does he care? Does he only listen when you "pray" - which our just thoughts in your head. Or does he listen all the time?

Is there anyone else listening to our thoughts but ourselves? Is that even possible?

Apparently it is! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7094526.stm
That article is about some people who put something in a paralyzed man's brain, that is tracking his impulses in the speech centers of his brain. Next week they are going to have a language computer translate what those impulses are - as sounds. So they are literally turning the electronical impulses in this guys brain - into sounds! How crazy is that! How can they do that? Will it work?

The last private thing we have, assuming no one is listening now, our are thoughts. If they succeed, then it's going to make a lot more interesting. No more liars. No more typing, no more writing, no more talking, - we'll be able to just think and a computer will do the rest.

You could have a cell phone hooked up to your brain, and just think "Text message ____: "hey what's up?" SEND" and it could type it, and send it, all without even pressing a button, with only the thought of it!

The other night I couldn't sleep. I even took some sleeping pills but my mind was RACING. They weren't bad thoughts at all, but they just wouldnt stop. So for one of the first times I tried to get to the bottom of things, things being myself, my mind, my thoughts. WHAT THE FUCK AM I REALLY TRYING TO GET AT??? What are the thousands of pages of paper I have filled out with drawings and writing and all kinds of diagrams really for? What am i really trying to figure out?

The truth? - The truth about what? Life? what about life? Meaning, death, me? - "My truth" what's that? Shouldn't i know - i mean i'm me??!

uh. So as I was laying there trying to come to terms with myself and my thoughts, doubts and fears. I asked myself "What am I really afraid of?"

Basically I was trying to break "it all" down into a single realization i was struggling with. This is what I wrote down:

"IM ALONE NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE ME. NO ONE KNOWS THIS ONE BIG SECRET I NEED TO UNDERSTAND. NO ONE IS WATCHING. NO ONE CARES. JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS POSSIBLE, DOESN'T MEAN THAT ITS SO. IF EVERYONE REALLY DID FORGET THIS "TRUTH" THEN MAYBE IT REALLY IS GONE FOREVER. THERE IS NO TIME, LITERALLY, JUST DISTANCE AND SPEED AND POSSIBILITIES - OPTIONS TO GO SOMEWHERE, NOT SOME WHEN."

That pretty much summed up all my fears and frustrations i've had my whole life.

1.That someone is watching and judging every single thing i ever do or think or say or act on. (God, teachers, parents, peers etc.) - that they actually care about me or what I do.

2. There there is this one big special secret that no one will tell me, either about myself or the world. The "Truth" and I mean THE truth - whatever it may be. Because everything ive ever been told was an absolute truth, has been an absolute lie. Maybe no one really knows! That's possible, and probably the truth in itself!

3. What if? Meant to be? Should have? Could have? ETC. Are not real, and were not really possible. There is no such thing as time travel, or a time line or going back and changing something or worrying about what could have or should have happened. "Just because something is possible, doesn't make it so" - meaning that just because we can imagine, describe, or even "Prove" something is possible, doesn't mean that it's happened, happening, or will happen! Yeah there could be government conspiracies, the "end times" could happen, jesus could have been the son of god, aliens could be watching us, there could be a big foot, blah blah blah blah blah. But just because something is possible, doesn't mean that it's real. Just because you believe that it's real, doesn't make it real. Just because you dont think something is real, doesn't make it not-real.


In summary: THE truth is out there. But we haven't found it yet, so don't assume you have until you KNOW you have.
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