2005: The Black Hole
Since i'm back home and have access to all my old stuff I decided to go through alllll my papers and boxes of papers and journals. I haven't gotten my journals together since 2004 so I thought that would be a good project for me to get motivated to write again. I didn't realize it but I already have 2005 already put together! It's of course, phone book sized already! I think I even have a 2005 Summary and Cast of Characters already written. The pile of my 2005 journals has the lyrics to a song called "Black Hole" by Lindsay Lohan. It's supposedly 2005's theme song? And now looking back, I totally understand why! It's weird how you can realize something about your life very well, but not REALLY understand it until a couple years later. I was loosing myself (falling in a black hole) and I knew it, but let it happen anyways. All I had were some things I wrote here and there, mostly emails to people, but never too many actual "journals."
But wow, seriously reading through what I have already is such an eye opener. It was like a big down hill spiral to becoming someone I wasn't, THEN a huge uphill ascent back that resulted in some pretty crazy times... It's like I tripped and fell down, and i'm only just now standing back up. But hey, I have thousands of pages of journals a few books to show for it! 2005 was a personal venture into complacency and falling into a black hole - 2006 was finding out what's on the other side... and was... well you'll find out eventually if you keep reading cause i'm going to be posting a lot of them on my web site and putting them in a crazy ass book.